Are you tired of the relentlessly upbeat, life-affirming tone of ATLOSCon? Do you secretly share Frodo Baggins' sentiment that humanity deserves "an earthquake or an invasion of dragons?" In this session, Aaron Bilger and Paul Hsieh will discuss three possible unpleasant ends to our way of life (and possibly our very existence): nuclear war, uncontrollable biological plague, and massive asteroid strike (aka "Sweet Meteor Of Death" or SMOD‬). We'll discuss why these are not merely plausible but realistic threats and why the chance of at least one of those things occurring is close to certainty. This is your chance to unleash your inner pessimist at ATLOSCon without shame or guilt. Participants are welcome to offer possible solutions to these existential threats, but we also encourage other participants to explain to them why they are sadly mistaken.